And now it starts. The book that will restore your faith in pulp novels. The series I have been wanting to review since I started this thing, but always decided against for reasons unknown. The...you know what, let's just get into it before I burst with anticipation.
Now, anyone care to remember how we opened Out of the Ashes? Well, for those of you who can't or don't want to, it was to something along these lines: "Ben Raines drinks himself into a stupor because American politics aren't to his liking". I think I know what Johnstone was attempting there; he was trying to make Raines into a kind of fallen hero. But really, in a series like Ashes, it doesn't work. I read stuff like this to have fun, and a depressed, drunken fascist is really not my idea of fun. But I've talked long enough about the many ways in which Out of the Ashes sucked; let's talk about the far superior novel I'm focusing on now.
Total War opens with John Rourke leading a group of twelve Pakistani soldiers against a group of opium smugglers. The smugglers, of course, fight back, leading to a very nice fight scene. THIS is how you open this kind of action novel; you establish your character as a badass from the get-go. Just from this one scene, we can already tell a few things about Rourke. For starters, he's a leader, as demonstrated by the fact that he's at the head of this strike force. Next, that he's brave; he's physically at the front, leading the strike force into the fight, charging a group of armed men. Third off, that he has some tactical sense, as the narration (which, as he is our viewpoint character, I assume is a sort of look into Rourke's mind) both cover for the smugglers and for Rourke's team, and he's had the sense to bring in surprise backup in the form of a machine gun-equipped truck. Finally, that he's a freaking action hero. For instance, after the smugglers reveal their own machine-gun truck, Rourke bravely charges it (from behind, admittedly, showing that he's not a brave idiot), managing to take out the gunner just before the man can gutshoot him.
So far, so good. The smugglers are defeated, only two of Rourke's men are killed, and all is well with the universe. In that one scene, we've covered all the necessary requirements for the opening of a good action novel. We've introduce the main character, and established his badass credentials. We've introduced his signature weapons (Aherns had a major love affair with certain weapons, I'm told, and takes the time to spell out exactly what make and model gun Rourke uses. It would be annoying, but somehow, it actually works). And, thankfully enough, we don't have a lot of the gorn Johnstone loved. Admittedly, there is some; for instance, at one point one of the smuggler's trucks explode and there's a hail of bloody limbs, but I'd say that that level of gorn is par for the course. I can handle a certain level from an action book, especially if you're going for the gritty, down-to-earth feel. I'm a big fan of Joel Rosenberg's Guardians of the Flame series, which does tend to describe the deaths to some degree, but it doesn't over-describe it. But I'll get to those books later. Back to Total War!
It's now that we first get introduced to Rourke as a character, when he's chatting with a Pakistani, Captain Mohammad, after the fight. One of the first things I noticed was Ahern's handling of the race and culture issues. In Ashes, Johnstone repeatedly stated his character's racial views, almost as if he had to convince himself that Raines was not a racist. With Rourke, however, we just get that impression immediately. Both in his interactions with the Pakistani Muslim Mohammad and the Jewish Paul Rubenstein later on, Rourke acts in a casual manner, never making an issue of differences in race and creed that seems to be bothering everyone in Ashes so much. That immediately endeared me to him after the Ashes experience. We also see here that he's more than his badassery; he wants to smoke his favorite brand of cigars after the fight, probably because it steadies him. Stuff like that is what I love; it shows me that he's human. Again, Raines did not; he killed people, he acted out his philosophies on life, and he occasionally stopped to meet new and increasingly unimportant characters. That's it. We didn't have any real character-building moments for him. We get more for Rourke in this one appearence than we do for Raines in his entire book.
So Rourke is forced to return to the States. After giving a speech to his men, expressing his desire to see them all again some day and setting up a new team leader, he departs. Mohammad accompanies him, and they share some exposition. Amazingly enough, it's not boring. We learn that Rourke is a survivalist and makes his living teaching counter-terrorist tactics; that he used to work for the CIA; that he's worked in Latin America with anti-communist groups. We also get another peek at his badass creds; after his team in Latin America was wiped out, he survived for the better part of two months with just a gun or two and a bayonet, eventually making his way back to the US. Awesome. During the banter, we also learn that Rourke fears that the world's going to collapse any day now. This is what motives his interests in survivalism, and it also puts his several leagues above Ben Raines. Why? Because, when Raines was convinced his country was going to collapse, he became a drunk. When Rourke becomes convinced his world was going to collapse, he started training himself to survive it. Even, as we'll see later, at the cost of his wife's good graces.
So, on their way to return Rourke home, Mohammad and Rourke check a Pakistani outpost at the border of Afghanistan in the Khyber Pass, which was at this point a Soviet satellite state. The military lost contact with the post a while back, and are beginning to worry. As the duo and their chopper approach the outpost, they see perhaps the worst site either can imagine; there is a freakin' Soviet army marching through the Pass. The two flee report the news, and we switch viewpoints to the group of soldiers Rourke had just been working with. They're watching as the Soviets advance, and agonizing over what to do. If they fight, they'll all die, but if they run, they'll be failing in their duties to protect their nation. The man Rourke appointed leader, Ahmed, leads his men into a suicide mission to delay the Soviets and allow their people more time to prepare. Before this, we get a rather emotional scene of Ahmed taking his last smoke and saying goodbye to his wife's picture, which was actually very emotional for me. Of course, the soldiers all die in, again, a very emotional scene, but they do manage to cause some damage and some delay. Hats off to you, brave sirs.
...
Dear Lord, did I just salute minor characters? Well, yeah. Like I said in my introduction, Aherns is good at creating characters you want to care about. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to wipe my eyes before I finish this...
Okay, all better. Moving on.
We switch viewpoints again to Ambassador George Stromburg, the US ambassador to the USSR. He's woken up at 3 am to learn about the invasion of Pakistan and the US's rather explosive planned response if the Premier doesn't agree to call it off. Stromburg goes to meet the Premier, who despite sitting in the villain shadows and being the man who's about to start WW3, we also find ourselves...if not liking, then not hating, either. The pair dance around each other, until they finally come out in the open with it. The Russians believe that invading Pakistan to make their position in Afghanistan more tenable, after explaining to Stromburg that, being American, he probably can't truly understand the Russian way of thinking. It's not that complicated, really; the Premier knows that the US is filtering aid to Afghan freedom fighters, and that it's making him lose ground. At the same time, the USSR cannot simply pull out of Afghanistan, because that would run the risk of letting Muslim fundies take over and, neighboring the USSR as they do, in particular several important research facilities, perhaps pose a threat to the Soviets. It would also be treated by rebellious factions within the USSR as a sign of Soviet weakness. The plan makes perfect sense to me. The idea behind it continues to evade me, but the given reasons make sense enough.
It's then that the Premeir reveals his trump card to Stromburg; the Soviets have developed advanced particle beam weaponry. They have used it to create cannons that provide a missile defense system that can shoot down any American bomb or missile that attempts to attack them. Ridiculous, I know, but we're reading a book, folks. We can ignore it. Stromburg attempts to convince the Premier that the US is superior, but the Premier calls his bluff. In the alternate universe that I say this story takes place in, the USSR is capable of surviving the war, and winning, with what it has. I suppose being immune to any missiles the US might throw at them gives them a small advantage in that field.
Much as I would like to continue this well into the night, even I, mighty man that I am, need sleep. So, goodbye and good night. For the record, I estimate that there shall be five or so more posts...and that they'll be far more enjoyable than either of the other books I've done so far. Of course, that isn't saying much...
You know what, my eyes are sagging. Good night, my non-existent readers!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Author Preview #3: Jerry Ahern; or, There Is a God
After the sheer, raw fail that was Out of the Ashes, I almost gave up on this project. Then, as I said previously, I was revitalized by an okay movie and came back. Now, I have given up on permanently, and am ready to move on to something good, as has been requested of my by both my mental health adviser and many of my non-existent readers. At least, something I thought was good.
Jerry Ahern is another pulp writer, and that already sends up warning flags after the...experience...of Ashes. However, unlike Johnstone, Ahern actually understands his genre. Pulp books are meant to be like comic books; each issue should be kept short and sweet, and focus on satisfying the reader more than anything else, whether that be by making them think or just making them smile as things blow up. While Johnstone was too busy pushing his political philosophy in Ashes, in Ahern's own flagship series, The Survivalist, he spends the entirety of every book doing his job; entertaining the readers. And it is awesome.
Like Out of the Ashes, The Survivalist follows the adventures of a former action-man after WW3 breaks out. Both main characters, Ben Raines and John Rourke, are watching their lives fall apart around them just before the war breaks out. And both return to being action heroes following the war. However, the main character is Ahern's first great success. Why? John Rourke is actually a very likable man. He usually reacts in an understandable manner to the situations around him, and responds accordingly. In addition, his character stays relatively constant throughout the story. And, since he's usually our viewpoint character, these all combine to make him worth reading.
In fact, one of Ahern's biggest strengths is in his characters. In Out of the Ashes (expect many comparisons between the two series as this review goes on), the biggest comic relief character was Ike McGowan, a rather unfunny and foul-mouthed Reb who Ben meets halfway through the book and who proceeds to stay on the sidelines for most of the rest of the book, so as not to outshine Ben himself. In the Survivalist series, that role is handled by John's sidekick, Paul Rubenstein. Amazingly enough, Paul is actually a very funny character. Not only that, but he's an actual sidekick for John, actually proving himself to be very competent and useful in John's adventures, as opposed to just a tagalong who occasionally gets John into trouble.
Even more amazing is Ahern's handling of the Soviet characters, who appear both as villains and allies throughout the novels. In the end, the Soviets win WW3 due to some sci-fi particle beam they have developed that acts as a fairly good missile shield. They end up occupying America, and a fair enough amount of time is spent with them as viewpoints to show some of their characters. And, to be honest, I was blown away. Ahern treats everyone from the Soviet Premier to the head of the KGB in America to the female agent who travels with John and Paul for a while as actual characters, instead of the caricatures Johnstone's villains inevitably became. It was positively mind-blowing for me.
Needless to say, I could spend all day heaping praise onto this series, but I haven't got the time (school starts soon, the house must be cleaned, etc.. In the blog, I think I'll do two of the books in succession (Issue #01: Total War and Issue #02: Nightmare Begins), both because they're so good and because, like any good serial series, stories are often told in arcs. Now, this series does morph rapidly into a sci-fi series (to the point where, at some point, I believe John, his family, and Paul get cryogenically frozen and continue their adventures in the future), but that really doesn't bother me. It's that good.
Expect the first update soon. And enjoy. I know I will. ;)
Jerry Ahern is another pulp writer, and that already sends up warning flags after the...experience...of Ashes. However, unlike Johnstone, Ahern actually understands his genre. Pulp books are meant to be like comic books; each issue should be kept short and sweet, and focus on satisfying the reader more than anything else, whether that be by making them think or just making them smile as things blow up. While Johnstone was too busy pushing his political philosophy in Ashes, in Ahern's own flagship series, The Survivalist, he spends the entirety of every book doing his job; entertaining the readers. And it is awesome.
Like Out of the Ashes, The Survivalist follows the adventures of a former action-man after WW3 breaks out. Both main characters, Ben Raines and John Rourke, are watching their lives fall apart around them just before the war breaks out. And both return to being action heroes following the war. However, the main character is Ahern's first great success. Why? John Rourke is actually a very likable man. He usually reacts in an understandable manner to the situations around him, and responds accordingly. In addition, his character stays relatively constant throughout the story. And, since he's usually our viewpoint character, these all combine to make him worth reading.
In fact, one of Ahern's biggest strengths is in his characters. In Out of the Ashes (expect many comparisons between the two series as this review goes on), the biggest comic relief character was Ike McGowan, a rather unfunny and foul-mouthed Reb who Ben meets halfway through the book and who proceeds to stay on the sidelines for most of the rest of the book, so as not to outshine Ben himself. In the Survivalist series, that role is handled by John's sidekick, Paul Rubenstein. Amazingly enough, Paul is actually a very funny character. Not only that, but he's an actual sidekick for John, actually proving himself to be very competent and useful in John's adventures, as opposed to just a tagalong who occasionally gets John into trouble.
Even more amazing is Ahern's handling of the Soviet characters, who appear both as villains and allies throughout the novels. In the end, the Soviets win WW3 due to some sci-fi particle beam they have developed that acts as a fairly good missile shield. They end up occupying America, and a fair enough amount of time is spent with them as viewpoints to show some of their characters. And, to be honest, I was blown away. Ahern treats everyone from the Soviet Premier to the head of the KGB in America to the female agent who travels with John and Paul for a while as actual characters, instead of the caricatures Johnstone's villains inevitably became. It was positively mind-blowing for me.
Needless to say, I could spend all day heaping praise onto this series, but I haven't got the time (school starts soon, the house must be cleaned, etc.. In the blog, I think I'll do two of the books in succession (Issue #01: Total War and Issue #02: Nightmare Begins), both because they're so good and because, like any good serial series, stories are often told in arcs. Now, this series does morph rapidly into a sci-fi series (to the point where, at some point, I believe John, his family, and Paul get cryogenically frozen and continue their adventures in the future), but that really doesn't bother me. It's that good.
Expect the first update soon. And enjoy. I know I will. ;)
Out of the Ashes Part 9; or, Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies
You know what? I've finally broken. I am going to skip every last bit of this book and just finish this thing up. This is for two reasons; 1) It's the end of August, 2) I really want to move on to something better, and 3) The last third or so of this book is just concentrated stupid. I wrote a 20-page rant about just how stupid the Rebel's new society was, and then realized that I wasn't even finished. So, I shall just write a short post to tie this up and move on. And, for the record, their society really is that badly done. In any logical world, it would have collapsed within a month.
Anyway, the sequence of events goes something like this:
1) Rebels form Tri-States (really imaginative, guys)
2) New US expands to regain most of its territory within five years, somehow.
3) New US wants to reabsorb Tri-States.
4) Tri-States doesn't like the idea.
5) New US invades Tri-States.
6) There is much rape and murder.
7) Tri-States loses.
8) Rebels regroup to destroy New US.
9) Book ends.
If I might muster one final gripe, the whole "Invade the Tri-States" event demonstrates, for any of you who might still have had doubts, the fact that Johnstone has a love of gorn that has never been equaled. He describes one New US soldier blasting out the stomache of a pregnant woman, for instance, and for some reason, any capture female Rebel is raped. Why? Is discipline so bad in the New US army that the instant there's a woman present, they stop the fighting to force themselves on her?
That's about all I can say about Out of the Ashes, which has become a candidate for "Worst Book Ever Written" by this point. Well, granted, I could say more, but that would take all day, and I doubt any of my non-existant readers want to read things thing for that long.
And now, I shall go read the entirety of The Belgariad again. I need to purge myself...
Anyway, the sequence of events goes something like this:
1) Rebels form Tri-States (really imaginative, guys)
2) New US expands to regain most of its territory within five years, somehow.
3) New US wants to reabsorb Tri-States.
4) Tri-States doesn't like the idea.
5) New US invades Tri-States.
6) There is much rape and murder.
7) Tri-States loses.
8) Rebels regroup to destroy New US.
9) Book ends.
If I might muster one final gripe, the whole "Invade the Tri-States" event demonstrates, for any of you who might still have had doubts, the fact that Johnstone has a love of gorn that has never been equaled. He describes one New US soldier blasting out the stomache of a pregnant woman, for instance, and for some reason, any capture female Rebel is raped. Why? Is discipline so bad in the New US army that the instant there's a woman present, they stop the fighting to force themselves on her?
That's about all I can say about Out of the Ashes, which has become a candidate for "Worst Book Ever Written" by this point. Well, granted, I could say more, but that would take all day, and I doubt any of my non-existant readers want to read things thing for that long.
And now, I shall go read the entirety of The Belgariad again. I need to purge myself...
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Out of the Ashes Part 8; or The Last Short Post
When we last left our Brave Republican, he had finally heard another part of the diabolical plan of evl librul Hilton Logan. What is this terrible scheme? You take the decimated population of the US, center them where he can protect them, rebuild the power of the United States, then slowly retake the country. Why is this treated as monstrous? I mean, yeah, you're kind of ordering people to abandon their land and property, but most of the nation is overrun with modern day bandits. We also have an actively rebellious force moving through the nation, looting government property and openly trying to destroy what's left of the Union. Gathering your resources and strengthening your position is actually the smartest thing you could do at this point, as far as I know. Of course, it's exactly what the Rebels do later, but then, they're Good Republicans, so they're actually doing the right thing.
So the guy acting as this section's plot exposition says that he's keeping his family right where it is. In the middle of lawless territory. When they probably have no guns whatsoever. Somebody slap this lunatic. Ben, of course, treats this as the right decision, because some of the citizens in New Africa are militant. What this has to do with living under Logan, I have no idea. The man has a mostly functional, if corrupt, army. This man could probably live well down in the New US. As a skilled farmer in a time when people will be needing food, he could probably live like a noble for years to come. Of course, we're meant to sympathize with the idiot who basically leaves his family out to dry, so he'll never take the obvious course of action. After a bit of filibuster on race relations and a little more exposition, Raines decides to visit Richmond, Virginia, the capital of the New US. This leads to one of the stupidest comments yet. Raines hides most of his weaponry, save two pistols and a rifle, since the first thing the New US will want to have is law and order, and any lawman wouldn't like the look of a man with a submachine gun. These men of the law also wouldn't like the look of a man with three times the heat they'd be carrying, either, I'd imagine.
On his way into Virginia, he's stopped three times in thirty minutes by the police. They, again, are treated like bad people because they're inspecting a suspicious vehicle containing one man with more firepower than any of them. When one of them asks for the car's registration, and Ben produces it (he filled it out at the dealership he stole it from, for some reason), it's treated like it's some kind of victory. The trooper in that example, by the way, doesn't believe a word of it, and acts as our next plot exposition. Again, Ben tells this federal agent exactly who he is and what he's done. This foul-mouthed trooper reveals to Ben that martial law has been declared, which is just terrible (why is this a bad thing? This kind of situation is why the idea was invented in the first place). Logan's sending troops into New Africa to bring it back in the Union (they're rebels against the New US government, what else are they going to do? This is also used as proof of Logan's racism). We also learn that the New US has begun to hire mercenaries to fill out their ranks. The leader of these mercs (are there readily-available mercenary armies in America? Wow...) is called Kenny Parr, whose primary sin is described as "he'll work for any flag". He's a mercenary. It's in the job description.
Logan is also rounding up guns from civilians, and we get another "gun control makes you evil" speech. It turns out that this policeman is a Rebel sympathizer, who says that they haven't done anything to warrant arrest. Let's just go over some things, shall we?
1) Ordered to destroy government property
2) Ordered to steal government property
3) Ordered to form a new nation on government property
4) Doing all three of the above
We've killed people for less.
So, Ben begins to spread a rumor through his new friend that he's dead. Why? Why on Earth is this is a good idea? The government is literally rebuilding itself from the ground up. They do not exactly have the manpower to put up a nation-wide net for Ben Raines, even with their Magical Disappearing Mercenary Armies. Despite having gone through a world-wide apocalypse, Ben Raines still doesn't seem to understand just how big such a thing it. The government. And the police. Are mostly gone. They're pulling all of their people and supplies back to a small portion of the East Coast because they can't control all of the US at present. Why convince them you're dead when you're leaving their entire sphere of influence two hours later?
He also convinces this guy, who was on the fence literally a minute ago, to join his cause. Again, all because he wrote a book years ago about creaing his own nation. Let me point out something here: just because you write about something does not make you able to personally do it. I used to write (bad) high fantasy. That does not make me able to grab a sword and start slaying dragons This is just as unlikely as a writer/soldier being able to magically pull a nation out of his hat. Everyone treats this as a foregone conclusion, that the Rebs will win. Why? Because they read the blurb on the back of the book. They know who the "heroes" here are already.
Oh, and Cecil Jeffries (anyone remember him?), his family, and Future Wife join the Rebels after the New US destroys New Africa. However, not much can be said about him. His family dies at the end, as does Future Wife, so they're pretty inconsequential, and Cecil himself is a rather bland character. The only ways to distinguish him from the rest of the Rebel leadership (who are all geniuses for some reason) are the constant references to the fact that he's black, and occasional "jokes" based off that fact.
Aside from that, though, there's absolutely no reason not to skip the several long scenes between here and Ben finally taking command of the Rebels. We'll get to that later, because despite the relatively short length of this one, I'm bored to tears at 11pm. For now, I'm finally going to sit down and watch the original The Day the Earth Stood Still for the second time. I've been meaning to do it (it's one of my favorite movies by this point), but it slipped by when I realized how much stuff I needed to do beforehand, including finishing up the latest post on my blog which nobody reads.
And tomorrow, fully recharged and having seen how you write a story properly, I shall return to tackle the worst bits of this story: the bits about President Raines. Have a good day, pleasant dreams...and go out and rent the damned movie. Seriously, 1951's The Day the Earth Stood Still is a sci-fi is a s ci-fi classic, and one of the best movies ever made. Watch it.
So the guy acting as this section's plot exposition says that he's keeping his family right where it is. In the middle of lawless territory. When they probably have no guns whatsoever. Somebody slap this lunatic. Ben, of course, treats this as the right decision, because some of the citizens in New Africa are militant. What this has to do with living under Logan, I have no idea. The man has a mostly functional, if corrupt, army. This man could probably live well down in the New US. As a skilled farmer in a time when people will be needing food, he could probably live like a noble for years to come. Of course, we're meant to sympathize with the idiot who basically leaves his family out to dry, so he'll never take the obvious course of action. After a bit of filibuster on race relations and a little more exposition, Raines decides to visit Richmond, Virginia, the capital of the New US. This leads to one of the stupidest comments yet. Raines hides most of his weaponry, save two pistols and a rifle, since the first thing the New US will want to have is law and order, and any lawman wouldn't like the look of a man with a submachine gun. These men of the law also wouldn't like the look of a man with three times the heat they'd be carrying, either, I'd imagine.
On his way into Virginia, he's stopped three times in thirty minutes by the police. They, again, are treated like bad people because they're inspecting a suspicious vehicle containing one man with more firepower than any of them. When one of them asks for the car's registration, and Ben produces it (he filled it out at the dealership he stole it from, for some reason), it's treated like it's some kind of victory. The trooper in that example, by the way, doesn't believe a word of it, and acts as our next plot exposition. Again, Ben tells this federal agent exactly who he is and what he's done. This foul-mouthed trooper reveals to Ben that martial law has been declared, which is just terrible (why is this a bad thing? This kind of situation is why the idea was invented in the first place). Logan's sending troops into New Africa to bring it back in the Union (they're rebels against the New US government, what else are they going to do? This is also used as proof of Logan's racism). We also learn that the New US has begun to hire mercenaries to fill out their ranks. The leader of these mercs (are there readily-available mercenary armies in America? Wow...) is called Kenny Parr, whose primary sin is described as "he'll work for any flag". He's a mercenary. It's in the job description.
Logan is also rounding up guns from civilians, and we get another "gun control makes you evil" speech. It turns out that this policeman is a Rebel sympathizer, who says that they haven't done anything to warrant arrest. Let's just go over some things, shall we?
1) Ordered to destroy government property
2) Ordered to steal government property
3) Ordered to form a new nation on government property
4) Doing all three of the above
We've killed people for less.
So, Ben begins to spread a rumor through his new friend that he's dead. Why? Why on Earth is this is a good idea? The government is literally rebuilding itself from the ground up. They do not exactly have the manpower to put up a nation-wide net for Ben Raines, even with their Magical Disappearing Mercenary Armies. Despite having gone through a world-wide apocalypse, Ben Raines still doesn't seem to understand just how big such a thing it. The government. And the police. Are mostly gone. They're pulling all of their people and supplies back to a small portion of the East Coast because they can't control all of the US at present. Why convince them you're dead when you're leaving their entire sphere of influence two hours later?
He also convinces this guy, who was on the fence literally a minute ago, to join his cause. Again, all because he wrote a book years ago about creaing his own nation. Let me point out something here: just because you write about something does not make you able to personally do it. I used to write (bad) high fantasy. That does not make me able to grab a sword and start slaying dragons This is just as unlikely as a writer/soldier being able to magically pull a nation out of his hat. Everyone treats this as a foregone conclusion, that the Rebs will win. Why? Because they read the blurb on the back of the book. They know who the "heroes" here are already.
I'm going to do us a small kindness and skip a lot to end this section. Suffice it to say that Raines stops ignoring the Call and decides to become the Rebel commander. He meets one more character along the way that is semi-important, so let's pause the skippage here to complain about him. Somehow, Ben meets an aged doctor named Lamarr Chase, who becomes the token "liberal" of the Rebels. I put "liberal" in quotation marks because, in practice, Chase comes off this man's idea of a "good" liberal. Namely, that he mindlessly agrees with everything Raines says, but only after about five seconds of argument. Needless to say, he's the only Rebel I ever got around to caring about, if only slightly.
Oh, and Cecil Jeffries (anyone remember him?), his family, and Future Wife join the Rebels after the New US destroys New Africa. However, not much can be said about him. His family dies at the end, as does Future Wife, so they're pretty inconsequential, and Cecil himself is a rather bland character. The only ways to distinguish him from the rest of the Rebel leadership (who are all geniuses for some reason) are the constant references to the fact that he's black, and occasional "jokes" based off that fact.
Aside from that, though, there's absolutely no reason not to skip the several long scenes between here and Ben finally taking command of the Rebels. We'll get to that later, because despite the relatively short length of this one, I'm bored to tears at 11pm. For now, I'm finally going to sit down and watch the original The Day the Earth Stood Still for the second time. I've been meaning to do it (it's one of my favorite movies by this point), but it slipped by when I realized how much stuff I needed to do beforehand, including finishing up the latest post on my blog which nobody reads.
And tomorrow, fully recharged and having seen how you write a story properly, I shall return to tackle the worst bits of this story: the bits about President Raines. Have a good day, pleasant dreams...and go out and rent the damned movie. Seriously, 1951's The Day the Earth Stood Still is a sci-fi
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Out of the Ashes Part 7; or, Johnstone is, Once Again, Outsmarted by a 17-Year-Old
Today was something of a vacation for your friend Alan. I decided to spend a day enjoying some of the finer things in life. For instance, I watched every episode of Firefly. Again. And the movie. I enjoyed spaghetti with lots of garlic. I even set myself up a play-by-post role-playing game. This is not very characteristic for me, but I decided to indulge. Why? Because I knew that, tonight, I had to spend an hour of my life listening to 15 minutes of Out of the Ashes and mercilessly ripping it a new one. Or trying to, at least.
I won't even bother stalling. I just want to get over with this, so I can move on to another book. Besides, we get new riffing material soon.
When we last left Ben, he had ignored the Call again. This is particularly stupid for several reasons. Firstly, because Raines has already shown that he believes that only those with his particular ideology deserve to rule. Secondly, because he's just discovered that Hilton Logan is planning to make himself Overlord of the Americas. Thirdly because he's already antagonized said future Overlord. And fourthly because he's the unofficial leader of the only force capable of challenging Logan's rule. Were I Raines, I would seek shelter with said force, for a very easy-to-see reason. Were I in future-President Logan's shoes, I would have every assassin I had sent to kill Raines. Instead, we have the idiot general from the last update. Why would a general personally try to kill him? Is there any reason for this man to be there, beyond his ability to expound upon the plot? Get used to stupid, folks; we don't see a competent villain for a dozen or two books.
After blowing off the Rebs, Ben heads south. Why? So he can find more material for his damned book. Why is he still going with that idea? Well, two reasons.
1) I now think that Johnstone was being paid by the word, and he really wanted that new Honda.
2) So that we can meet the future main characters.
So, Ben Goes South. He forgets the Rebels, encounters some zombies and hostiles, visits the sites of a pair of lynchings (one of a black man, one of a white man), and generally travels throughout the state. And then, the most awful thing imaginable happens. Ben tunes into a working radio station run by a man named Ike McGowan.
The station's call sign is KUNT. This treated as one of the funniest jokes in the novel.
Raines tracks down McGowan's tower, where he finds that McGowan is a former Navy SEAL who somehow survived World War 3 and managed to cobble together a working radio tower. It turns out McGowan has companions. All of them beautiful young women whose main characteristic is that they wear nothing but bikinis. And they all jiggle. That's about it.
REALITY CHECK!
Even if he is a former SEAL, what are the odds of Ike McGowan, who's weight problem is brought up many times throughout the book, surviving not only WW3, but the chaos immediately following it. And maintaining his weight, might I add. In addition, why are a bunch of nubile young women hanging around with him? It's one fat man who's broadcasting his location to the world. In any semi-realistic world, this place would have been swarmed and overtaken years ago. The women would have been carted away, McGowan would have been killed, and it wouldn't matter how good a warrior he is or how well these ladies aim. If you have the food and supplies to do all this, you are a valid target. In addition, even if McGowan somehow radiates a sheer aura of awesome that drives away any potential attackers, why would they stay with him? He's a foul-mouthed idiot who thinks he's funny. This is not the most compelling man on Earth. In fact, in the real world, I'd imagine that they'd all be dead or worse a hundred times over.
But this is Johnstone's world. In this world, a Good Republican Military Man cannot be killed unless the plot dictates it, and only then when it makes no sense for them to.
So, Ben introduced himself to the heavily armed Ike and his harem. This is a complete derailment of his character; they're pointing guns at them, yet he lets them live! And he gives them his real name! You'd think that, after the first attempted assassination, he'd be a little more wary of giving out his name, but hey, I'm trying to apply logic to Out of the Ashes. Ike, it turns out, is a Rebel. Why he's not with the main bunch who are supposedly heading Northwest is never really explained. He also introduced his harem to Raines. They're introduced, word for word, as follows.
"This one here's Tater, and that one's Junebug, and that one there's Space-Baby, and that one is Angelface. The blond is Honeypooh. That dark one all sprawled out on the floor, too goddamned lazy to get up is Bellringer. "
Does anyone else feel like they've just been looking over slabs of meat? Why the stupid names? Why are they even here? Bellringer serves a purpose; she's Ike's love interest. But what possible purpose do the rest of them serve, aside from providing fanservice? They never do anything important! YOU DO NOT INTRODUCE CHARACTERS WHOSE ONLY PURPOSE IS TO BE THERE!
*Groan*
Anyway, after that unpleasantness is over, Ike reveals that he has a working generator that gives them light. Ike is supposed to be smart; he becomes a general by the next book. Why, then, would he use electronic lights? That would bring looters like moths to a light, no matter what you broadcast on the airwaves. And why would you broadcast it anyway? Were I in this situation, I'd ignore any broadcasts offhand. What're the odds that it's bandits trying to lure you into a trap?
Leaving aside the more stupid bits, this section of the novel is completely pointless. Sure, it introduces Ike, a major character, but what is the point of it? He could have been introduced in a much better situation before or after this, if you really had to include the half-naked women. And again, why the women? Why are they almost naked?
I'm skipping ahead to the end of this little visit, because the rest of it is, again, completely pointless. Oh, I forgot; this is actually where Johnstone states his racial views while providing the tiniest bit of Ike's backstory. According to Ike-Johnstone, anyone who is a criminal or any less moral than he is is automatically given a racial slur. He's rather fond of using "nigger" to describe black villains. Aside from this though, the only thing that happens for the rest of this part of the novel is that Ben marries Bellringer, real name Megan, and Ike. Oh, and it's revealed that most of Ben's future policy comes from his books. That's right; the fictional counterpart of Johnstone is trying to live the life he wrote for his own fictional counterpart. Does this strike anyone else as creepy, stupid, and/or insane? One wonders what would have happened if WW3 had broken out during Johnstone's lifetime...
After marrying two flat characters and masturbating over the idea of Johnstone's idea of perfect government, Ike and his harem leave the tower and head of Mississippi and the new nation of New Africa. Raines starts writing his book, then starts masturbating again. He apparently does this all winter. So it's been at least a year since WW3. Ben's apparently lived off of what he salvaged back from his home for the winter he spent with Jerre, since they were apparently holed up for the entire season, and they continued to keep him until now. The narrator talks a lot about the looting the country's gone through, always in a disgusted tone, but we never actually hear Raines having to scavenge for some food. I don't know why; I can already think of a very interesting scene or two based on it. You could further develop his character, other characters also rummaging for food, force him to actually interact with the faceless masses. But no; apparently, as Ubermensch, Ben is above such thing.
Ben travels to Knoxville, where he discovers, gasp, And they're actual people working to rebuild civilization! And they're not (yet) Rebels! This provides, again, what could have been an interesting scene. It turns out that Logan is now President and resettling people into several centralized areas of three or four states, focused on getting agriculture, industry, business, etc. going again, then expanding into the West again when the nation is back on its feet. And people are going along with it. And, of course, this is treated as the stupidest thing since the Germans ignored the concentration camps.
I'll end this here, because it's getting a bit long, but I want to end with one rather pertinent thought:
Why is this a bad thing? Unless I'm missing something big, it's actually the best strategy presented in the whole series. Concentrate your power and ensure the safety of the people by bringing them into a concentrated, easier-to-defend area. Build your power, get your economy and industry back up to snuff. Then, when you're ready, expand West, using your military to crush any would-be warlords that have arisen in your absence, after giving them an opportunity to rejoin your new USA quietly. Certainly better than Raines' own plan later, which involves stretching his forces so thin that his most constant problem is lack of personnel. In fact, if we hadn't already been informed that Hilton Logan is evil, then we could continue painting him as a hero just doing what he thinks is right. And, for all we know, the general was lying. Hell, here's a scenario for you:
Rogue, pro-dictatorship elements in the Army sent a group of criminals to meet Raines and told them what to say. The criminals are told that, if they say their lines and then kill Raines, they'll be free. It's odd, but hey, it's a shot. If they killed Raines, then the Rebels, a threat to this rogue group's plans for their own personal dictatorship, are crippled. If they fail, then they ensure that the Rebels and the New US will do their damndest to kill each other. It's the perfect plan, especially when dealing with Ben Raines, who already has an insane grudge against the New US's leader, Hilton Logan, and has proven to be insanely gullible when it suits his needs.
I would love to rewrite this one day.
Well, farewell, and may all your books be better than this one. Not that it's that hard...Eragon was better than this. Hell, ANTHEM was better than this...
I won't even bother stalling. I just want to get over with this, so I can move on to another book. Besides, we get new riffing material soon.
When we last left Ben, he had ignored the Call again. This is particularly stupid for several reasons. Firstly, because Raines has already shown that he believes that only those with his particular ideology deserve to rule. Secondly, because he's just discovered that Hilton Logan is planning to make himself Overlord of the Americas. Thirdly because he's already antagonized said future Overlord. And fourthly because he's the unofficial leader of the only force capable of challenging Logan's rule. Were I Raines, I would seek shelter with said force, for a very easy-to-see reason. Were I in future-President Logan's shoes, I would have every assassin I had sent to kill Raines. Instead, we have the idiot general from the last update. Why would a general personally try to kill him? Is there any reason for this man to be there, beyond his ability to expound upon the plot? Get used to stupid, folks; we don't see a competent villain for a dozen or two books.
After blowing off the Rebs, Ben heads south. Why? So he can find more material for his damned book. Why is he still going with that idea? Well, two reasons.
1) I now think that Johnstone was being paid by the word, and he really wanted that new Honda.
2) So that we can meet the future main characters.
So, Ben Goes South. He forgets the Rebels, encounters some zombies and hostiles, visits the sites of a pair of lynchings (one of a black man, one of a white man), and generally travels throughout the state. And then, the most awful thing imaginable happens. Ben tunes into a working radio station run by a man named Ike McGowan.
The station's call sign is KUNT. This treated as one of the funniest jokes in the novel.
Raines tracks down McGowan's tower, where he finds that McGowan is a former Navy SEAL who somehow survived World War 3 and managed to cobble together a working radio tower. It turns out McGowan has companions. All of them beautiful young women whose main characteristic is that they wear nothing but bikinis. And they all jiggle. That's about it.
REALITY CHECK!
Even if he is a former SEAL, what are the odds of Ike McGowan, who's weight problem is brought up many times throughout the book, surviving not only WW3, but the chaos immediately following it. And maintaining his weight, might I add. In addition, why are a bunch of nubile young women hanging around with him? It's one fat man who's broadcasting his location to the world. In any semi-realistic world, this place would have been swarmed and overtaken years ago. The women would have been carted away, McGowan would have been killed, and it wouldn't matter how good a warrior he is or how well these ladies aim. If you have the food and supplies to do all this, you are a valid target. In addition, even if McGowan somehow radiates a sheer aura of awesome that drives away any potential attackers, why would they stay with him? He's a foul-mouthed idiot who thinks he's funny. This is not the most compelling man on Earth. In fact, in the real world, I'd imagine that they'd all be dead or worse a hundred times over.
But this is Johnstone's world. In this world, a Good Republican Military Man cannot be killed unless the plot dictates it, and only then when it makes no sense for them to.
So, Ben introduced himself to the heavily armed Ike and his harem. This is a complete derailment of his character; they're pointing guns at them, yet he lets them live! And he gives them his real name! You'd think that, after the first attempted assassination, he'd be a little more wary of giving out his name, but hey, I'm trying to apply logic to Out of the Ashes. Ike, it turns out, is a Rebel. Why he's not with the main bunch who are supposedly heading Northwest is never really explained. He also introduced his harem to Raines. They're introduced, word for word, as follows.
"This one here's Tater, and that one's Junebug, and that one there's Space-Baby, and that one is Angelface. The blond is Honeypooh. That dark one all sprawled out on the floor, too goddamned lazy to get up is Bellringer. "
Does anyone else feel like they've just been looking over slabs of meat? Why the stupid names? Why are they even here? Bellringer serves a purpose; she's Ike's love interest. But what possible purpose do the rest of them serve, aside from providing fanservice? They never do anything important! YOU DO NOT INTRODUCE CHARACTERS WHOSE ONLY PURPOSE IS TO BE THERE!
*Groan*
Anyway, after that unpleasantness is over, Ike reveals that he has a working generator that gives them light. Ike is supposed to be smart; he becomes a general by the next book. Why, then, would he use electronic lights? That would bring looters like moths to a light, no matter what you broadcast on the airwaves. And why would you broadcast it anyway? Were I in this situation, I'd ignore any broadcasts offhand. What're the odds that it's bandits trying to lure you into a trap?
Leaving aside the more stupid bits, this section of the novel is completely pointless. Sure, it introduces Ike, a major character, but what is the point of it? He could have been introduced in a much better situation before or after this, if you really had to include the half-naked women. And again, why the women? Why are they almost naked?
I'm skipping ahead to the end of this little visit, because the rest of it is, again, completely pointless. Oh, I forgot; this is actually where Johnstone states his racial views while providing the tiniest bit of Ike's backstory. According to Ike-Johnstone, anyone who is a criminal or any less moral than he is is automatically given a racial slur. He's rather fond of using "nigger" to describe black villains. Aside from this though, the only thing that happens for the rest of this part of the novel is that Ben marries Bellringer, real name Megan, and Ike. Oh, and it's revealed that most of Ben's future policy comes from his books. That's right; the fictional counterpart of Johnstone is trying to live the life he wrote for his own fictional counterpart. Does this strike anyone else as creepy, stupid, and/or insane? One wonders what would have happened if WW3 had broken out during Johnstone's lifetime...
After marrying two flat characters and masturbating over the idea of Johnstone's idea of perfect government, Ike and his harem leave the tower and head of Mississippi and the new nation of New Africa. Raines starts writing his book, then starts masturbating again. He apparently does this all winter. So it's been at least a year since WW3. Ben's apparently lived off of what he salvaged back from his home for the winter he spent with Jerre, since they were apparently holed up for the entire season, and they continued to keep him until now. The narrator talks a lot about the looting the country's gone through, always in a disgusted tone, but we never actually hear Raines having to scavenge for some food. I don't know why; I can already think of a very interesting scene or two based on it. You could further develop his character, other characters also rummaging for food, force him to actually interact with the faceless masses. But no; apparently, as Ubermensch, Ben is above such thing.
Ben travels to Knoxville, where he discovers, gasp, And they're actual people working to rebuild civilization! And they're not (yet) Rebels! This provides, again, what could have been an interesting scene. It turns out that Logan is now President and resettling people into several centralized areas of three or four states, focused on getting agriculture, industry, business, etc. going again, then expanding into the West again when the nation is back on its feet. And people are going along with it. And, of course, this is treated as the stupidest thing since the Germans ignored the concentration camps.
I'll end this here, because it's getting a bit long, but I want to end with one rather pertinent thought:
Why is this a bad thing? Unless I'm missing something big, it's actually the best strategy presented in the whole series. Concentrate your power and ensure the safety of the people by bringing them into a concentrated, easier-to-defend area. Build your power, get your economy and industry back up to snuff. Then, when you're ready, expand West, using your military to crush any would-be warlords that have arisen in your absence, after giving them an opportunity to rejoin your new USA quietly. Certainly better than Raines' own plan later, which involves stretching his forces so thin that his most constant problem is lack of personnel. In fact, if we hadn't already been informed that Hilton Logan is evil, then we could continue painting him as a hero just doing what he thinks is right. And, for all we know, the general was lying. Hell, here's a scenario for you:
Rogue, pro-dictatorship elements in the Army sent a group of criminals to meet Raines and told them what to say. The criminals are told that, if they say their lines and then kill Raines, they'll be free. It's odd, but hey, it's a shot. If they killed Raines, then the Rebels, a threat to this rogue group's plans for their own personal dictatorship, are crippled. If they fail, then they ensure that the Rebels and the New US will do their damndest to kill each other. It's the perfect plan, especially when dealing with Ben Raines, who already has an insane grudge against the New US's leader, Hilton Logan, and has proven to be insanely gullible when it suits his needs.
I would love to rewrite this one day.
Well, farewell, and may all your books be better than this one. Not that it's that hard...Eragon was better than this. Hell, ANTHEM was better than this...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I'm Back; or Good Novels, Average Movies and Bad Books
After the last update, I kind of lost my will to continue this project. Why? Because I was just about worn out. This is really one of the most horrible books I have ever read. So, I took myself off the hook, blog-wise, for a little over a month. I wasn't even going to come back; Lord knows I've ended up abandoning blogs before. Then, I saw a certain film that somehow convinced me to return. It's called Parasite Eve.
As the title of this update should tell you, it is not the world's best film. In fact, if I had to classify it, I'd say it's "so okay it's average". The basic idea of the story is that mitochondria are sentient, powerful, and about to revolt and try to destroy humanity. It's best known here in the States for the Playstation 1 game that was based on it. Also called Parasite Eve, this game was what defined the word "horror" for me. It was the single scariest thing I'd ever seen, and remains at #2 on that list to this day. Even then I knew it was a stupid concept, but it was so ridiculously well-done that I could ignore that. Even the movie, which certainly isn't anything to write home about, managed to get me into the story. Granted, it's J-Horror, so I couldn't understand half of it, but it still manages to be an okay flick.
That one element, execution, is what can save a stupid story from being a bad experience. And, let's face it, Johnstone's scenario is really stupid at the end of the day. The difference between Out of the Ashes and Parasite Eve...or, heck, Battle Royale (which I love, but is in no way a work of art) is that Johnstone doesn't have the faintest idea of how to pull this one off. For example, look at how he treats the villains of the novel. Let's compare it to Battle Royale this time (the villains of Parasite Eve are a collection of sentient microscopic organisms; there's not much chance for character development). The longest-lasting and most dangerous villains in Battle Royale are Mitsuko Soma and Kazuo Kiriyama. The author devotes several sections of the novel to developing these two and setting them up as legitimate threats. Throughout the novel, it's hinted at that these two are the most dangerous enemies our heroes will have, and we even get to use them as viewpoint characters several times. You can understand why they do what they do, and what led them to it. Indeed, the amazing level of character development is one of the reasons why I love that novel so much.
Now, look at the villain of Out of the Ashes, Hilton Logan. We're first introduced to his character when one of his opponents is complaining about him. Okay, I can accept that. We don't go through, say, the Harry Potter books following Lord Voldemort. No, Rowling hints and implies his great evil and power, and by the time we meet him, we can be genuinely creeped out by him, and genuinely cheer for the people fighting him. However, until we meet Logan later in the book, all we ever hear about him is that he is A) An evl librul, and B) That he somehow banned private ownership of guns in the USA. Not exactly Caligula, is he? When we meet him again, he seems even less evil. In fact, he seems downright heroic. In the middle of a crisis, when his nation had descended into anarchy and chaos, he stepped up, took command, and began a fight to restore some kind of order to the world. That takes some major guts; you're standing up to several dozen literal warlords, and you're winning. In any other series, Logan would be the hero here. Instead, the "real hero" of the piece spends his entire meeting with Logan trying to provoke the man. And we're expected to root for him. Finally, when Ben meets the military men in the last update, we discover that, for some reason, Logan is planning to enslave every non-Caucasian American in North and South America, at least. Where did that come out from? Where was that foreshadowed, or indicated in the slightest way? And why, suddenly, is the military leadership supporting this?
Undeveloped and out-of-nowhere villains aren't even the chiefest of Johnstone's sins. His "heroic" Author Avatar is almost a sociopath, your political party almost always determines your moral status, there's no continuity between chapters, the series is the poster child for Disposable-Woman syndrome, and the list goes on and on!
And those are not even necessarily all bad things! Take, for example, the "Raines almost a sociopath" point. That's not necessarily a damning character trait. Look at Roland from Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. He begins the story as a cold, heartless character, who is willing to let a child he cares about die if it'll help him reach his goals. Over the course of the novels, as he picks up friends and continues his travels, he learns to open his heart again and care about people. It's a truly touching bit of character development. This is highlighted in the final book of the series, when Roland offers to let Mordred, his evil and insane child, live, in exchange for sparing Roland's friend and companion Oy. Mordred, of course, refuses and kills Oy in a terrible way. Following Roland's victory, he buries and mourns Oy, and I admit that, when reading this, many manly tears were shed.
Raines, of course, never gets this kind of development. In fact, any development he gets in a given book disappears at the start of the next book. All that changes is that he gets older, and that the amount of territory his side holds fluctuates.
I think I'll end it there, before I end up ranting into the late of night. I'll probably have the next update up tomorrow, unless I suddenly lose my drive. Until then, adios, and may all your reading be good.
As the title of this update should tell you, it is not the world's best film. In fact, if I had to classify it, I'd say it's "so okay it's average". The basic idea of the story is that mitochondria are sentient, powerful, and about to revolt and try to destroy humanity. It's best known here in the States for the Playstation 1 game that was based on it. Also called Parasite Eve, this game was what defined the word "horror" for me. It was the single scariest thing I'd ever seen, and remains at #2 on that list to this day. Even then I knew it was a stupid concept, but it was so ridiculously well-done that I could ignore that. Even the movie, which certainly isn't anything to write home about, managed to get me into the story. Granted, it's J-Horror, so I couldn't understand half of it, but it still manages to be an okay flick.
That one element, execution, is what can save a stupid story from being a bad experience. And, let's face it, Johnstone's scenario is really stupid at the end of the day. The difference between Out of the Ashes and Parasite Eve...or, heck, Battle Royale (which I love, but is in no way a work of art) is that Johnstone doesn't have the faintest idea of how to pull this one off. For example, look at how he treats the villains of the novel. Let's compare it to Battle Royale this time (the villains of Parasite Eve are a collection of sentient microscopic organisms; there's not much chance for character development). The longest-lasting and most dangerous villains in Battle Royale are Mitsuko Soma and Kazuo Kiriyama. The author devotes several sections of the novel to developing these two and setting them up as legitimate threats. Throughout the novel, it's hinted at that these two are the most dangerous enemies our heroes will have, and we even get to use them as viewpoint characters several times. You can understand why they do what they do, and what led them to it. Indeed, the amazing level of character development is one of the reasons why I love that novel so much.
Now, look at the villain of Out of the Ashes, Hilton Logan. We're first introduced to his character when one of his opponents is complaining about him. Okay, I can accept that. We don't go through, say, the Harry Potter books following Lord Voldemort. No, Rowling hints and implies his great evil and power, and by the time we meet him, we can be genuinely creeped out by him, and genuinely cheer for the people fighting him. However, until we meet Logan later in the book, all we ever hear about him is that he is A) An evl librul, and B) That he somehow banned private ownership of guns in the USA. Not exactly Caligula, is he? When we meet him again, he seems even less evil. In fact, he seems downright heroic. In the middle of a crisis, when his nation had descended into anarchy and chaos, he stepped up, took command, and began a fight to restore some kind of order to the world. That takes some major guts; you're standing up to several dozen literal warlords, and you're winning. In any other series, Logan would be the hero here. Instead, the "real hero" of the piece spends his entire meeting with Logan trying to provoke the man. And we're expected to root for him. Finally, when Ben meets the military men in the last update, we discover that, for some reason, Logan is planning to enslave every non-Caucasian American in North and South America, at least. Where did that come out from? Where was that foreshadowed, or indicated in the slightest way? And why, suddenly, is the military leadership supporting this?
Undeveloped and out-of-nowhere villains aren't even the chiefest of Johnstone's sins. His "heroic" Author Avatar is almost a sociopath, your political party almost always determines your moral status, there's no continuity between chapters, the series is the poster child for Disposable-Woman syndrome, and the list goes on and on!
And those are not even necessarily all bad things! Take, for example, the "Raines almost a sociopath" point. That's not necessarily a damning character trait. Look at Roland from Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. He begins the story as a cold, heartless character, who is willing to let a child he cares about die if it'll help him reach his goals. Over the course of the novels, as he picks up friends and continues his travels, he learns to open his heart again and care about people. It's a truly touching bit of character development. This is highlighted in the final book of the series, when Roland offers to let Mordred, his evil and insane child, live, in exchange for sparing Roland's friend and companion Oy. Mordred, of course, refuses and kills Oy in a terrible way. Following Roland's victory, he buries and mourns Oy, and I admit that, when reading this, many manly tears were shed.
Raines, of course, never gets this kind of development. In fact, any development he gets in a given book disappears at the start of the next book. All that changes is that he gets older, and that the amount of territory his side holds fluctuates.
I think I'll end it there, before I end up ranting into the late of night. I'll probably have the next update up tomorrow, unless I suddenly lose my drive. Until then, adios, and may all your reading be good.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Out of the Ashes Part 6, or Just too Much
So, when we last left Ben, he had threatened to kill a man for being anti-white with a semi-decent reason, given how these things go, kissed a woman he'd barely known for half a day, then drove off into the sunset to continue his book. Now that we're all caught up, let the latest section's idiocy begin.
Ben travels as far to the East as he dares, and pretty much stops when he starts finding bodies suffering from radiation poisoning. Forgive me for beating a dead horse (which happens a lot in these books if you haven't noticed), but why radiation poisoning? The nukes were essentially radiation-free! Is Johnstone forgetting his own canon again? If so, why? I mean, this isn't exactly the world's longest book. Really, it's a little shorter than average. Did he not bother to keep notes? And, again a dead horse, did he even have an editor on this thing?
Anyway, after commenting on how hard these people had died, Raines turns southwest, eventually coming to Virginia. He keeps going until, just a few miles north of Charlottesville, he sees a young boy. Of course, when the boy sees Raines coming, he dives for a ditch, apparently injuring himself in the process. Raines gets out of the car and moves to help the boy, who draws a pistol and points it at Raines. Now, normally, this is a killing offence, but there are two mitigating factors here. 1) The pistol's safety is on, which I really don't think is nearly as important as 2) The boy is, in fact, a pretty young woman.
...
Ho...
...
Wha...
...
Okay, someone explain something to me: how does one mistake a noticeably pretty woman for a boy? I mean, is this woman really short and flat as a board, or was Raines thinking he was looking at a tall, kinda fat kid? In addition, does this mean that Ben Raines finds young men physically attractive? I mean, how does one mistake a pretty young woman for a boy. I've never had that problem, personally. Anyone of you ever mistake a 9-year-old for a 19-year-old knockout? Because, you know, within a couple years of 9, we men stop looking like women. Quite noticeably, in fact.
So, this girl's name is Jerre. Never met a girl named Jerre, but let's go with it. Of course, despite having been nearly raped (I was wrong, someone in this world actually DID escape that fate!), she's immediately drawn to the Republican manliness of Ben Raines and the two fall in love. Aww...wait a minute, what happened to Future Wife? You kissed the lady after spending less than a day with her, and here you are already chasing skirts! So, let's compile some of my problems with Ben Raines' character, now that we have several problems to go through.
1) He supports military dictatorship (and will later become a popular military dictator)
2) He's quite willing to murder someone for having the gall to defend themselves against him
3) He's willing to leave you to die if you don't subscribe to his every belief.
4) He's a womanizer. After the end of the world. When building stable relationships with people should really be one of your main priorities. Now, granted, an argument could be made that he's at least making relationships with certain people, but...
Let's just move on. Mercifully, for once, I can skip large parts of this section because it can be summed up in a single paragraph:
Ben and Jerre spend the winter in a conveniently located cabin having lots of nookie, after which Jerre asks Ben to teach her his survival skills. So, he does. Afterwards, they separate, partially because Ben is almost three times Jerre's age and partially because Jerre wants to get out there and help the world while Ben, as we have seen, doesn't. How does she plan on helping the world? Well, she's going to meet up with a bunch of collage students at a certain campus, then spread out and do what they can.
THAT would make an interesting story, to be sure. We've already established that the US is now populated mostly by functional zombie-sheeple waiting for a leader to arise. We've also established that there are many bloodthirsty bandits out there who want to take advantage of all the chaos to do what they do. There's an army of roughly 5,000 Rebels out there just waiting for their leader's orders to wreak their own brand of havoc. These students have so much to contend with, and still they're going out to do their best. In any other story, they'd probably be heroes.
However, they're collage students. Which, of course, means they're libruls. Which either makes them evil or stupid in this tale, sadly. As we discover later in the book, these people are basically doomed. Despite the situation they find themselves in, only a couple of them even carry guns. I'm guessing that even fewer of them know diddly-squat about rebuilding communities. They're just going out there to be naive, just like those stupid, silly people who protested Vietnam and wore their hair in anything but a crew cut.
Not that he says this, mind. He plays at wishing them well, but anyone who has an inkling as to how this writer's mind works can guess how he really feels.
Needless to say, most of them are slaughtered and they don't accomplish a thing. Shame on them for going out in the world to do some good instead of writing a book. Jerre survives and shows up later, but that's a different story.
Anyway, Jerre leaves, and Ben is depressed until he decides that yes, he's an old fart and she needs to be with "her own kind". Incidentally, this does not stop him moping over her for the rest of the series, even when he has another of his hordes of women.
So, what's Raines' first stop after Jerre leaves him? Let's give you the multiple choices again:
A) Find the fraking Rebels and stop ignoring the Call.
B) Find Hilton Logan and what's probably the US government by now and join up with them; there's still much work to be done.
C) Look into the local airforce base where the AEWSOEM MILETARY will have established order and civilization far better than any of the plebs.
D) Go back to doomstead (now located in New Africa, incidentally) and shoot anything trying to force you out?
The correct answer is C. I won't insult any of you that got it wrong, because quite frankly, I haven't the energy. So, what brave new civilization does our hero discover inside the base? Well...he kind of doesn't. It's mostly abandoned, except for a four of card players inside a service club. One of them, a general, brings him up to speed on what's been going on in the world while he was busy rolling in the hay with the girl who looks like a boy: there's about 20 or 30 million people left in the US, the Rebs are still looking for Raines, and that in another few months, Logan shall be made President. Again, we get some bashing on the man, which I still see as completely unfair and indicative of Raines' own character deficits. Raines practically begs the general to take over the country as military despot, rather than have a liberal in office.
I wish he had lived to see the last election. Obama getting into office would have killed him.
The general denies this, and begins expositing on Logan's plan to pull the US out of this mess. So, what is it? A brief totalitarian rule necessary to get the country back on its feet? An economy-focused agenda designed to get up back on our feet and ready to help the rest of the world? Nope; we're just gonna invade the Latin nations and use them as slave labor.
Here's where things start getting trippy. It turns out that Logan was behind WW3, and this whole collapse, and is, in fact, a "pseudo-liberal" who is actually a closet racist who wants nothing more than to become Emperor of the Americas or something along those lines. Umm...was this ever foreshadowed? Did we ever get any indication that Logan was a petty tyrant and hate-filled racist? Nope; we just need to accept that he is, with no investigation whatsoever. A while back, I made a point that you had to root for Raines and the Rebels because the villains are all far worse than he could ever be. It's about here where it becomes the absolute rule.
So, it turns out that this was all Logan's plan after all. He was going to do this even if the Rebs ended up failing, because somehow this very, very liberal man got the entire military behind him (again without anyone noticing) and got them to support him in his bid to become a King.
Here we also have the conversation turn sour. The general Raines is talking to was in on this stupid plot, is also a racist, and after revealing everything to Raines, he foolishly tries to kill him. Ben, despite being outnumbered and caught in a trap, kills them all. After doing so, he finally contact the Rebels, who eagerly accept him as their leader. Raines, however, is still unenthusiastic and tries to pass the buck.
...
Okay, I just have to revisit some of the stupider moments of this part of the tale, just to make sure I've got it all. Hilton Logan, despite coming off as a fairly nice man whose only crime was opposing Ben Raines, was all along an evil, racist tyrant who accidentally sparked off WW3. The instant he's in charge, he plans to practically enslave anyone without the good judgement to be born white, and restore the old concept of the Master Race.
In addition, most, if not all, of the United States military is quite willing to go through with this. I assume that anyone who wasn't is a Rebel. To a man, they'll support him.
...
You know what? I'm going to stop here. I've done one full section, and a part of another, and I'd fully intended to do both in full, but my God, the sheer stupid is starting to get to me. So, there you go.
Ben travels as far to the East as he dares, and pretty much stops when he starts finding bodies suffering from radiation poisoning. Forgive me for beating a dead horse (which happens a lot in these books if you haven't noticed), but why radiation poisoning? The nukes were essentially radiation-free! Is Johnstone forgetting his own canon again? If so, why? I mean, this isn't exactly the world's longest book. Really, it's a little shorter than average. Did he not bother to keep notes? And, again a dead horse, did he even have an editor on this thing?
Anyway, after commenting on how hard these people had died, Raines turns southwest, eventually coming to Virginia. He keeps going until, just a few miles north of Charlottesville, he sees a young boy. Of course, when the boy sees Raines coming, he dives for a ditch, apparently injuring himself in the process. Raines gets out of the car and moves to help the boy, who draws a pistol and points it at Raines. Now, normally, this is a killing offence, but there are two mitigating factors here. 1) The pistol's safety is on, which I really don't think is nearly as important as 2) The boy is, in fact, a pretty young woman.
...
Ho...
...
Wha...
...
Okay, someone explain something to me: how does one mistake a noticeably pretty woman for a boy? I mean, is this woman really short and flat as a board, or was Raines thinking he was looking at a tall, kinda fat kid? In addition, does this mean that Ben Raines finds young men physically attractive? I mean, how does one mistake a pretty young woman for a boy. I've never had that problem, personally. Anyone of you ever mistake a 9-year-old for a 19-year-old knockout? Because, you know, within a couple years of 9, we men stop looking like women. Quite noticeably, in fact.
So, this girl's name is Jerre. Never met a girl named Jerre, but let's go with it. Of course, despite having been nearly raped (I was wrong, someone in this world actually DID escape that fate!), she's immediately drawn to the Republican manliness of Ben Raines and the two fall in love. Aww...wait a minute, what happened to Future Wife? You kissed the lady after spending less than a day with her, and here you are already chasing skirts! So, let's compile some of my problems with Ben Raines' character, now that we have several problems to go through.
1) He supports military dictatorship (and will later become a popular military dictator)
2) He's quite willing to murder someone for having the gall to defend themselves against him
3) He's willing to leave you to die if you don't subscribe to his every belief.
4) He's a womanizer. After the end of the world. When building stable relationships with people should really be one of your main priorities. Now, granted, an argument could be made that he's at least making relationships with certain people, but...
Let's just move on. Mercifully, for once, I can skip large parts of this section because it can be summed up in a single paragraph:
Ben and Jerre spend the winter in a conveniently located cabin having lots of nookie, after which Jerre asks Ben to teach her his survival skills. So, he does. Afterwards, they separate, partially because Ben is almost three times Jerre's age and partially because Jerre wants to get out there and help the world while Ben, as we have seen, doesn't. How does she plan on helping the world? Well, she's going to meet up with a bunch of collage students at a certain campus, then spread out and do what they can.
THAT would make an interesting story, to be sure. We've already established that the US is now populated mostly by functional zombie-sheeple waiting for a leader to arise. We've also established that there are many bloodthirsty bandits out there who want to take advantage of all the chaos to do what they do. There's an army of roughly 5,000 Rebels out there just waiting for their leader's orders to wreak their own brand of havoc. These students have so much to contend with, and still they're going out to do their best. In any other story, they'd probably be heroes.
However, they're collage students. Which, of course, means they're libruls. Which either makes them evil or stupid in this tale, sadly. As we discover later in the book, these people are basically doomed. Despite the situation they find themselves in, only a couple of them even carry guns. I'm guessing that even fewer of them know diddly-squat about rebuilding communities. They're just going out there to be naive, just like those stupid, silly people who protested Vietnam and wore their hair in anything but a crew cut.
Not that he says this, mind. He plays at wishing them well, but anyone who has an inkling as to how this writer's mind works can guess how he really feels.
Needless to say, most of them are slaughtered and they don't accomplish a thing. Shame on them for going out in the world to do some good instead of writing a book. Jerre survives and shows up later, but that's a different story.
Anyway, Jerre leaves, and Ben is depressed until he decides that yes, he's an old fart and she needs to be with "her own kind". Incidentally, this does not stop him moping over her for the rest of the series, even when he has another of his hordes of women.
So, what's Raines' first stop after Jerre leaves him? Let's give you the multiple choices again:
A) Find the fraking Rebels and stop ignoring the Call.
B) Find Hilton Logan and what's probably the US government by now and join up with them; there's still much work to be done.
C) Look into the local airforce base where the AEWSOEM MILETARY will have established order and civilization far better than any of the plebs.
D) Go back to doomstead (now located in New Africa, incidentally) and shoot anything trying to force you out?
The correct answer is C. I won't insult any of you that got it wrong, because quite frankly, I haven't the energy. So, what brave new civilization does our hero discover inside the base? Well...he kind of doesn't. It's mostly abandoned, except for a four of card players inside a service club. One of them, a general, brings him up to speed on what's been going on in the world while he was busy rolling in the hay with the girl who looks like a boy: there's about 20 or 30 million people left in the US, the Rebs are still looking for Raines, and that in another few months, Logan shall be made President. Again, we get some bashing on the man, which I still see as completely unfair and indicative of Raines' own character deficits. Raines practically begs the general to take over the country as military despot, rather than have a liberal in office.
I wish he had lived to see the last election. Obama getting into office would have killed him.
The general denies this, and begins expositing on Logan's plan to pull the US out of this mess. So, what is it? A brief totalitarian rule necessary to get the country back on its feet? An economy-focused agenda designed to get up back on our feet and ready to help the rest of the world? Nope; we're just gonna invade the Latin nations and use them as slave labor.
Here's where things start getting trippy. It turns out that Logan was behind WW3, and this whole collapse, and is, in fact, a "pseudo-liberal" who is actually a closet racist who wants nothing more than to become Emperor of the Americas or something along those lines. Umm...was this ever foreshadowed? Did we ever get any indication that Logan was a petty tyrant and hate-filled racist? Nope; we just need to accept that he is, with no investigation whatsoever. A while back, I made a point that you had to root for Raines and the Rebels because the villains are all far worse than he could ever be. It's about here where it becomes the absolute rule.
So, it turns out that this was all Logan's plan after all. He was going to do this even if the Rebs ended up failing, because somehow this very, very liberal man got the entire military behind him (again without anyone noticing) and got them to support him in his bid to become a King.
Here we also have the conversation turn sour. The general Raines is talking to was in on this stupid plot, is also a racist, and after revealing everything to Raines, he foolishly tries to kill him. Ben, despite being outnumbered and caught in a trap, kills them all. After doing so, he finally contact the Rebels, who eagerly accept him as their leader. Raines, however, is still unenthusiastic and tries to pass the buck.
...
Okay, I just have to revisit some of the stupider moments of this part of the tale, just to make sure I've got it all. Hilton Logan, despite coming off as a fairly nice man whose only crime was opposing Ben Raines, was all along an evil, racist tyrant who accidentally sparked off WW3. The instant he's in charge, he plans to practically enslave anyone without the good judgement to be born white, and restore the old concept of the Master Race.
In addition, most, if not all, of the United States military is quite willing to go through with this. I assume that anyone who wasn't is a Rebel. To a man, they'll support him.
...
You know what? I'm going to stop here. I've done one full section, and a part of another, and I'd fully intended to do both in full, but my God, the sheer stupid is starting to get to me. So, there you go.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Out of the Ashes Part 5, or Comparisons, Stereotypes, and a Profound Lack of Editors
Referencing Part 4 for a moment, I’d like to take another look at the Raines-Logan meeting for a moment. It consists, as I said, entirely of Raines needling Logan, actively trying to provoke the man trying to return order to the country. Because he’s a liberal. And banned guns. Both of which have him roasting in the pits of Hell in Johnstone’s way of thinking.
When I write these, I tend to listen to the soundtrack to Les Miserables, and wouldn't you know that I was listening to "The Confrontation" while I was writing that section.
For those of you unfamiliar with the musical, "The Confrontation" is, of course, the first real confrontation between Jean Valjean (the protagonist) and Javert (the semi-antagonist) of the show following the musical's prologue. Valjean once stole a loaf of bread to save his sister's starving child. Javert, an ardent devotee of the law, believes that this makes him an evil criminal for life, and through a combination of Javert's persistence and Valjean's bad luck, the two meet up several times in the story. "The Confrontation" is definitely my favorite of these meetings, because it examines both characters in surprising detail, provides more backstory for Javert, and is actually a very good number, especially the 10th Anniversary version
You can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WdoAnlQ30U
This is, in my mind, the most perfect confrontation scene ever written. Both the protagonist and the antagonist are clearly defined, both set out their motivations and, best of all, you can see both sides of the argument. Valjean is a good man trying to do good deeds...as well as a wanted criminal who is often quite willing to break the law to do above-mentioned deeds. In addition, if you watch the entire play, you find that Valjean jumped his parole, and tried several times to escape from his jail sentence. Javert, by contrast, is sentencing a young girl to suffer. But, at the same time, he's doing his duty, following his personal convictions, and honestly believes he's making the world a better place. Maybe it's just my rather unique vantage point, but I actually have a liking and respect for both characters.
Needless to say, Johnstone’s meeting isn’t handled half as well. Raines comes off as some kind of arrogant sociopath, while Logan comes off as an overworked man in a bad position who’s being insulted because of something he did before civilization essentially collapsed. Since then, he has been gradually using his influence and the manpower under him to reclaim part of the country, and restore peace and order. Despite this, it’s clear that we’re supposed to cheer for Raines when he finally forces Logan to break. There is no ambiguity as to who is right or wrong; Raines is always right, in everything he does. In addition, there’s no drama to the piece, and it only serves to introduce Logan; compared to the song, where you can almost feel the buildup to the (admittedly brief) fight about 2/3 of the way in, it’s almost pathetic.
Yes, I know I'm comparing one of the best musicals ever written with a piece of trashy pulp, but I think it's obvious that this is supposed to be Johnstone's magnum opus, so I hold it to very high standards. When and if I ever review Stephen King's Dark Tower series, I plan on comparing them to the creme de la creme as well.
But let's get back to the plot. It's been three days since I actually posted one of these things, and I want to get this done sooner rather than later.
When we last left Ben Raines, he’d abandoned a pocket of humanity (after an apocalypse, mind) because they had the GALL to have a former Democrat as their leader, and found out that he’s been appointed the leader of the Rebels. So, given that we’ve spent the better part of a week following his character, what do we expect him to do? I’ll even give you a few choices.
A) Realize he’s a moron, go back to Logan’s stronghold, and help him rebuild the US, hoping to curb his evl librul tendencies?
B) Take control of the Rebels, form his own country, and offer an alternative to Logan’s evl librul nation?
C) Ignore both factions, return to his home (which is probably a doom fortress), and wait to see what happens?
D) Continue his rather stupid idea that he’s the only writer left in America and travel through the increasingly dangerous territory to write down survivor stories. Which, if the country survives, will probably come out anyway.
If you chose anything but option D, you clearly haven’t been reading these reviews at all. Go back and read them, you lazy fellow. Or, better yet, stop reading them and go find something decent.
Anyway, let’s get back to our increasingly villainous protagonist, ja? So, after murdering two men and abandoning a group of men trying to reform the country to their fate, where’s Raines headed next? Well, he heads north, towards Cairo. He spends a little time in some little no-name town and encounters a couple of zombies (see previous posts for my ranting on said zombies) shuffling around. So how does Raines react to these poor people? He says “to Hell with it” and leaves them to starve. He continues north, finally reaching Cairo, where he’s attacked by bandits. After establishing that there’re no women with him, they decide to capture him anyway, assuming he’s “a kid and pretty enough.”
…
This is something of a central theme with Ashes villains. Aside from the ones who later join the forces of light (with one notable exception), almost every Ashes villain is a racist, bisexual child rapist, at best. And gleeful about it, may I add. Although, a problem presents itself in this particular case; why do they not notice that the guy behind the wheel of this large truck in his mid-40’s? I mean, they’re obviously watching him; is the glass tinted or something? Off course, at the end of this little section, Raines kills them. It’s about now that you start having to root for Raines. Why? Because, as I said above, almost every single Ashes villain is far worse than he is.
So, Raines travels the nation and witness how mostly the only ones who aren’t zombies are “scum and slime”. Finally, he heads to Chicago, where he comes across an honest-to-God race war. I recently read a Conservative Republican manifesto; apparently, one of their “chief beliefs” is that racism is dead. And that women are all most happy in the home, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. Point being, despite Johnstone defining himself and his heroes Conservative Republicans more often than anything else, Raines himself barely fits the modern definition. Which I find positively hilarious for some reason.
Okay, so apparently a race war is building in Chicago between the blacks and the whites, and there’s 15-20k people left alive in the city…huh? You mean to tell me that Chicago wasn’t considered important enough to warrant a nuke, or a germ warhead at least? And why, for the love of all things good and well-written, does nearly the entire remaining population of Chicago suddenly want to kill each other? In a situation like this, why oh why does Chicago become the racism capital of the US? Apparently, it’s every man, woman, and child in the city, divided along race lines, ready to kill each other immediately. No one even trying to sue for peace.
For once, Ben does the rational thing and leaves the city be. He stops at a motel just before dark to bed down for the night, and there meets a black party. It turns out, though, that these are good black people. How can we tell? Because their leader, Cecil Jeffries, actually speaks proper English! Yep; nearly every non-Rebel African American in the series speaks Ebonics, and only Ebonics, and THAT is usually how you can tell the good guys from the bad guys. It gets irritating, trust me.
So, despite knowing each other for all of a minute, Jeffries offers Raines some supper, which Raines accepts. It’s also here that Raines and Jeffries come together to reminisce about Vietnam. Raines reveals that he’s a Hellhound, who as we may recall are supposed to be so secret that only about five percent of the US government are even vaguely aware of its existence. Despite this, Jeffries seems to know all about it, and the two men hit it off famously.
When we finally get to the dinner scene, we’re introduced to a few minor characters that will appear later in the book. Cecil’s wife, who only exists to give him something to angst about when she dies later, Ben’s Future Wife (a bit part who I’m not even going to name) who he later admits to not really loving, and Kasim. Who is Kasim? Well, he’s a stereotyped radical Black Muslim/Black Nationalist. He played a bit more of an important part in the complete book, but really, he’s just here to fill up space and give Ben someone to beat hate in the absence of anyone else more worthy of it.
So, after some plot exposition about radiation levels in the nuked cities…wait a second here. Weren’t these clean nukes? Didn’t Johnstone himself explain that they gave off such small amount of radiation as to not matter? Was this man so bad at his job that a minor 17-year-old curmudgeon like me with the writing skills of a rabid badger is better able to keep track of his continuity than he was? And this wasn’t even that far back in the story; each section lasts about fifteen minutes, so at maximum, he mentioned this an hour ago. Where was his editor? Did he even have one?
…ah, who am I complaining about? I haven’t got one either; I’m sure I’ve got plenty problems of my own. But my God, man, you could at least TRY.
Anyway, after we get that startling bit of plot discontinuity/exposition, Kasim begins being…well, his stereotype. He asks why Ben didn’t stay in Chicago and help the whites kill the blacks. This results in a rather strained scene where Kasim plays the above-mentioned stereotype to the hilt. He doesn’t trust Ben, which, if Johnstone has decided to explore the young man’s backstory even the tiniest bit, might have made an interesting conflict.
Were I writing it, I would have forced the pair together, shown what happened to bring Kasim to his present state of mind (beyond a pair of explanations about his sister being raped), and shown him gradually working himself past it as he’s forced to work with Ben to survive in this dangerous new world. Sadly, I’m not writing it. Maybe I could create the first ever piece of Ashes fanfiction and rewrite the whole epic to make the most basic amount of sense, but...maybe later.
Back to the story, Kasim calls Future Wife “zebra” (did people still talk like that in ’88?), resulting in Kasim getting slapped by Future Wife, then threatened with a magnum to the face by Cecil. Here, we actually get the barest bit of backstory of Kasim; apparently, his sister was raped by white men, which is what resulted in his hatred of the race. And I’m okay with that; it’s an interesting idea, and if played right, could make for some truly awesome drama. Instead of going down that road, however, Johnstone simply has Kasim scream about how Ben is white, with no attempt to humanize him. Again, we seem him being there just to be there.
Ben offers to leave, and Cecil agrees that it’s probably for the best. Here, we also get a bit of plot exposition; there’s an all-black nation in the former US, named, of course, New Africa. In the course of half a week, this new nation now encompasses the entirety of Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana, apparently sticking precisely to the old state boarders. Why? Because.
Here, Raines shows another part of his true nature. He tells Kasim that he’ll leave tomorrow, and that if he ever sees Kasim again, he’ll kill the young man. Why? Because, despite not being an evl librul, he represents racism. While I agree that racism is an evil that could stand to be purged from the Earth, isn’t that taking it a bit too far? Half a week ago, you were apparently a mostly lawful citizen. Now, you’re randomly threatening to kill people for expressing their beliefs in a mostly non-physical manner.
I wonder, what’s it like in the Raines household when he finishes the orange juice?
Raines: I tell you, I did not finish the orange juice!
Stereotype Family Member: Yes you did, dear/dad/uncle/whatever! I just saw you swigging the last of it!
*Raines blows family member away*
Raines: So, who really finished the orange juice?
After this, we get a meeting (again rather strained, though I think it's supposed to sound natural) between Ben and Future Wife, where they discuss the differences between the races. It really serves no purpose, so I’ll leave it alone. Here, we reiterate Ben’s plan to travel and write a book about WW3. They kiss. Which I suppose is plausible. I mean, they DID only meet hours ago, but they’re at what could well be the end of the world as they know it forever. People are trying to rebuild the country, but hey, they’re just stupid liberals, what can they honestly do?
The next day, Ben departs. As is usual for Ashes villains, Kasim rants at him for their entire meeting. Ben handles it coolly and drives away. Thankfully, we will never see Kasim again.
We get some more scenes of Ben interacting with the zombies. Here’s one of their responses to Raines pointing out that there’s probably not a stable government anywhere in the world: “You’re wrong, mister. If the government wasn’t going to help us, they wouldn’t have made everybody so dependent on them. You’re wrong!” Stupid lines aside, is this how much respect this man has for the average American? I thought we Americans were supposed to be the greatest thing since sliced bread! According to my own Conservative Republican family member, it’s another core belief of the entire freakin’ ideology!
Maybe I should just ignore the "good Republican" line of reasoning and just assume Johnstone's creating his own ideology.
Ah, why do I bother? As we approach the end of this section, we watch as Ben discovers a freaking billboard from the Rebels to him, asking him to call them and publicly telling him which radio frequency to use. Isn’t that just mildly stupid? Not only could such things be easily vandalized or torn down or painted over or what have you, but it also gives whoever feels the need to fight you a way to pinpoint your location. I don’t know if the technology to do that actually exists, but Johnstone makes mention of it in later books, so let’s assume it does.
As the section ends, Ben refuses the call to lead the Rebels and moves on. Why? In the very first section, he said the only reason he wouldn’t join up with the Rebels in the first place is because he’d become content with his way of life. His way of life is now shattered, and he’s got the military power, apparently, to recreate the US in his image, as he no doubt wishes to do. So why doesn’t he do it?
He must have a really good book in the works.
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